I should probably admit to the fact I was only in one serious relationship. One that lasted more than a few months. And actually it was probably just over a year.
What is wrong with me?
Monday, 3 November 2014
Sunday, 17 August 2014
Saturday, 16 August 2014
Friday, 15 August 2014
Thursday, 14 August 2014
Like a teenager...
I check my emails multiple times in the day. Whenever the number of unread is higher than the last time my heart stops for 2 seconds whilst I check my inbox. I dream of being with him. I imagine seeing him and being happy. I sometimes look at his picture but almost don't need to as his face is so well kept in my mind. I remember his soft eyes and miss his hug. If only that moment could last forever... If only we could be forever...
Sunday, 20 July 2014
Leaving
It's hard to leave again. It's hard to leave the friends behind. It's hard to start over yet again. It's hard particularly when you feel you have found someone special...
Monday, 7 July 2014
Saturday, 21 June 2014
Thursday, 19 June 2014
Wednesday, 18 June 2014
Tuesday, 17 June 2014
Monday, 16 June 2014
Sunday, 15 June 2014
We will always be "just friends"
We never slept together but we shared a bed more than once. We never kissed but we held hands. We were never boyfriend/girlfriend but we were close friends. My flatmate once told me "I hope you two end up together". Don't really know how he felt about me but I felt something for him. Nothing ever really happened but wish it had. He has someone else now. He's one of the reasons I need to leave this place. We were out together with friends and as the two of us were getting drinks another couple assumed we were boyfriend/girlfriend when starting a conversation with us. It was like a knife went through my heart...
Sunday, 8 June 2014
Thursday, 29 May 2014
Tuesday, 13 May 2014
Me
I may be not have a husband, boyfriend, children. But I have my life, my health, my friends, my job.
I am happy. And tomorrow I will be happier than today, everyday.
I am happy. And tomorrow I will be happier than today, everyday.
Monday, 12 May 2014
Sunday, 11 May 2014
Saturday, 10 May 2014
Thursday, 8 May 2014
Wednesday, 7 May 2014
Tuesday, 6 May 2014
Monday, 5 May 2014
Still no decision(s)
But as soon as I have it, I AM SO GONNA BOOK AN AMAZING HOLIDAY!
It will definitely feel amazing to me!
It will definitely feel amazing to me!
Sunday, 4 May 2014
Saturday, 3 May 2014
Out of my system
I bought a notebook and a pen. And I wrote. I wrote all that went through my mind. What is going wrong, what I'm doing wrong and what I should do to get myself right. Best therapy ever!
Wednesday, 30 April 2014
Tuesday, 29 April 2014
Saturday, 26 April 2014
Monday, 21 April 2014
Friday, 18 April 2014
Thursday, 17 April 2014
Wednesday, 16 April 2014
Monday, 14 April 2014
Sunday, 30 March 2014
Thursday, 27 March 2014
Sunday, 9 March 2014
Tuesday, 4 March 2014
Sunday, 2 March 2014
Decisions
decisions, decisions, decisions...
Life, a tree of decisions.We always wonder what would have happened if we were to go to the other branches...
Human nature, curiosity, always wanting more...
Life, a tree of decisions.We always wonder what would have happened if we were to go to the other branches...
Human nature, curiosity, always wanting more...
Sunday, 23 February 2014
Friday, 21 February 2014
Thursday, 20 February 2014
Wednesday, 5 February 2014
Dream house
At least dreaming is still free... These are pictures of a gorgeous house in Cape Town with a magnificent view over Lion's Head, Camps Bay and the Atlantic Ocean. Not super sure about the bathroom in the bedroom like that though...
Tuesday, 4 February 2014
Jealous boss
The other day I was walking to a meeting along with my boss and a guy who is coming in the opposite direction says a very sure, assertive, apparently as if he knew me, "hi". My boss immediately turns and inquisitively asks "who was that?". My answer was simply "well, I think he's just the guy who stands by the barrier to check who comes in".
I have seen him a couple of times (and said "hi" back as he usually says "hi") when walking into the building. I thought was saying "hi" to everybody but maybe I was wrong...
I have seen him a couple of times (and said "hi" back as he usually says "hi") when walking into the building. I thought was saying "hi" to everybody but maybe I was wrong...
Sunday, 2 February 2014
Saturday, 1 February 2014
Friday, 31 January 2014
Wednesday, 22 January 2014
Tuesday, 21 January 2014
Monday, 20 January 2014
Sunday, 19 January 2014
Saturday, 18 January 2014
The ghosts of relationships past
I feel haunted, I feel particularly haunted by a couple of relationships and a crazy phase I went through.
The person I left behind to pursue my career, the person I thought would leave their wife to pursue a life with me, the phase I just went out to party and wake up next to someone I would never want to see again. I did many mistakes during that time, I don't even want to considered they were part of my life. It's the one I regret the most. I still enjoy my career and I was very unhappy in the one I had before. I unfortunately then fell for the usual old tale hoping I would end up being the chosen one and then that never happened. I wasted a lot of time waiting...
This is probably why I feel that a bigger change in my life is becoming a necessity. So that I stop associating where I currently am with the last three "things":
-the man I left
-the man who wouldn't leave
-the men who never entered
I have learnt from my mistakes.
The person I left behind to pursue my career, the person I thought would leave their wife to pursue a life with me, the phase I just went out to party and wake up next to someone I would never want to see again. I did many mistakes during that time, I don't even want to considered they were part of my life. It's the one I regret the most. I still enjoy my career and I was very unhappy in the one I had before. I unfortunately then fell for the usual old tale hoping I would end up being the chosen one and then that never happened. I wasted a lot of time waiting...
This is probably why I feel that a bigger change in my life is becoming a necessity. So that I stop associating where I currently am with the last three "things":
-the man I left
-the man who wouldn't leave
-the men who never entered
I have learnt from my mistakes.
Holidays
I had been speaking with a friend of mine about going on holidays and we even had a destination, Japan. I was so excited about it but now she says she may have to move house and therefore can't do both. I am so gutted. I was sooo looking forward to a long, exotic, Asian holiday. I've never been to Asia, like proper Asia. Furthest east I've been is Moscow, and Mediterranean Turkey.
It's thesecond third time a 2014 holiday plan goes down the drain...
Maybe this is just not the year to go away on a complicated, exciting holiday. Hopefully it will be a year of change though!
It's the
Maybe this is just not the year to go away on a complicated, exciting holiday. Hopefully it will be a year of change though!
Thursday, 16 January 2014
Wednesday, 15 January 2014
The only thing you need
“to get a date…is another date.” - Carrie Bradshaw - Sex & The City
“to get an interview…is another interview.” - Charlie Falconer - A Single Woman
“to get an interview…is another interview.” - Charlie Falconer - A Single Woman
Monday, 13 January 2014
Do as I say...
Don't do as I do.
I always think saying something may happen, or is in plan, will jinx it. I therefore mention it to 2 of my closest friends...
I always think saying something may happen, or is in plan, will jinx it. I therefore mention it to 2 of my closest friends...
Saturday, 11 January 2014
Friday, 10 January 2014
Thursday, 9 January 2014
Tuesday, 7 January 2014
I had a dream...
I have again dreamt about teeth, and it's never nice. Basically I dream that as I am speaking and opening my mouth, the (tiny) pressure of the cheeks on my teeth makes them come out, or better, fall out! And then I panic about it, evidently! I think I just close my mouth and start running away.
"To dream that you have rotting or decaying teeth implies that you may have said something that you shouldn't have. You may have uttered some false or foul words and those words are coming back to haunt you. (...)
To dream that your teeth has fallen out and you try to refit them back into the mouth signifies a lack of self-confidence and embarrassment. You are afraid that others will know of your short-comings. If you acted calmly in your dream, then it may point to how can make the best out of any situation. You are able to rise above unfavourable circumstances."
From DreamMoods.
"To dream that you have rotting or decaying teeth implies that you may have said something that you shouldn't have. You may have uttered some false or foul words and those words are coming back to haunt you. (...)
To dream that your teeth has fallen out and you try to refit them back into the mouth signifies a lack of self-confidence and embarrassment. You are afraid that others will know of your short-comings. If you acted calmly in your dream, then it may point to how can make the best out of any situation. You are able to rise above unfavourable circumstances."
From DreamMoods.
Monday, 6 January 2014
Sunday, 5 January 2014
Saturday, 4 January 2014
New Year Resolutions
1-write on this blog more often
2-be healthy; continue to eat well and exercise (even if it is to continue it can still be a resolution, right?)
3-continue and improve keeping in contact with friends
4-get a new job/role
5-think positive thoughts and be happy!!!
2-be healthy; continue to eat well and exercise (even if it is to continue it can still be a resolution, right?)
3-continue and improve keeping in contact with friends
4-get a new job/role
5-think positive thoughts and be happy!!!
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