Pearl Jam - Last Kiss

David Gilmour & Roger Waters - Comfortably Numb

David Gilmour - Wish you were (Live Unplugged)

Limp Bizkit - Behind Blue Eyes

The Who - Behind Blue Eyes

After the storm...

Comes the calm...

Everything is so right in my life right now I'm almost afraid something wrong will happen. I try to push these negative thoughts out of my mind because I think that if you think bad things, bad things WILL happen.

So maybe that's it... I've had the storm(s): the bad relationships, the unhealthy life, the traumas, the job I hated, the boss who treated me horribly, the breakups, the betrayals... And now it's time for the calm: the good relationship, working on my health(s), a job I like, a boss who's not great but is getting better, living in a city I love.  And indeed things can always get better, but they are pretty good right now.

There are things that used to annoy me in the past and now, I just don't seem to care. I just don't think they're worth spending energy on. I prefer to use my energy to help others. I do some volunteering and I can't wait to be able to do some more.

I'm happy. I'm getting to grips with being in peace with myself. Accepting, moving on, growing...

Charley is not single anymore... ?

So in the end he was confused, and in the end the hear overruled the brain. We started as "friends" till it got to the point that I said I didn't want to be just "friends". I wanted more commitment. He got scared, either of us separating or of us getting together or both...

But we have been and still are together.

And I'm still scared... I'm scared he'll leave me again, I'm scared he'll find someone younger, I'm scared his brain will rule again... But I need to get passed this. And I'm getting less scared...