Still alive

and well, just not paying much attention to the poor blog. Hope you've had a good Christmas and are well set for an amazing 2013!!

Calvin Harris (feat Florence Welch) - Sweet Nothing

Xmas wish list

from here.

That's it...

Quote

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life.

I know I am very demanding, that I have high standards, that expect a lot from people, etc. I know it, my friends have told me and an ex as well. However, not bothering to see me on my birthday followed by a "I'll let you know about meeting tomorrow" on Saturday and having said nothing since really annoys me. Is that asking too much?

Quote

“we accept the love we think we deserve.”
Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Quote

“We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love.”
Sigmund Freud

Another year gone by

And, for the first time I can remember, I feel old... I'm not really in the mood for celebrations and would prefer if people didn't wish me "happy birthday".

Hard season has begun

better get my liver prepared...

Relief

I still enjoy beeing in my own company.

Luisa Sobral - Not there yet

Christmas

Is only a month away!!!

Zwan - Number of the Beast (Spun Soundtrack)

Update

Can't believe it's been over 10 days since I've been here. I've had so much to do and on my mind. Year end is always busy and a few "things" haven't helped. Let's start!

-with regards to this post... If you think "I'm the one holding the head" you are WRONG!! I AM the head! Well, that is to say, I was head-hunted to apply to a couple of positions in other companies. It always makes me feel really well when that happens, specially considering I didn't get the other job in my company.
-had really good feedback on the interview (even though I didn't get the job)
-job is going well and I do like it. Also,  love the company and the people I work with so actually I'm not sure I really want to leave...

-my flatmate has told me she is leaving... and with Christmas and holidays means I have probably a month and half to find a flatmate or another solution... $***

-can't believe I've had this blog for a year!!. Thanks for reminding me and the belated happy birthday! (you know who you are)

John Lunn - Downton Abbey - Main Theme Song

Downton Abbey - Main Theme Song - Piano

What's the point?

My flatmate will go to the gym and then have for dinner: ready-meal of spaghetti carbonara (those that almost make 2 meals), a piece of Victoria sponge cake and a massive choc chip cookie. I know going to the gym is good as it will increase energy levels, heart rate, etc, but if she eats all of this straight after, I wonder how good it's actually doing her...

Moral's up!

Horoscope

Honestly, who writes this stuff?
Today's horoscope:
Extra time and attention that you have been devoting to your career should pay off about now. You've worked hard to be where you are, and you aren't through climbing the ladder of success just yet. You aren't likely to rest on your laurels. Today you might spend a lot of time planning your next goal. A little ingenuity will definitely pay off here, Sagittarius. Use whatever advantages you have.

One door closes

another one opens...

Trying to keep positive!

Monty Python - Job Interview

Some news

Well, I guess no news is not always good news...
I've not said anything because I didn't want to jinx it. I applied for a job in my company which would have meant a promotion. I went to the first interview, I went to the second and final interview. And I now know I didn't get it. Not in a great mood right now...

News (III)

no news yet...

News (II)

Anyway, the wait is killing me!

News

Is no news, really good news?

Sadness

I need stronger anti-depressants.

Thomas Newman - Bag song

"It was one of those days, when it's a minute away from snowing, and there's this electricity in the air. You can almost hear it, right? And this bag was just dancing with me, like a little kid begging me to play with it, for fifteen minutes.
That's the day I realized there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know, but it helps me remember. I need to remember.
Sometimes there is so much... beauty... in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in."

Loving

Lisa Eldridge's blog

Humans

Some people just don't get it, do they?
Not a subtle or an obvious hint! They just don't get it, and it gets on my nerves!

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Scar Tissue

V-ID (II)

Right, what's done, is done!

Adele - Skyfall

V-ID

Today - Important Day
Tomorrow - Very Important day

I'll let you know the rest of the details when I can!

Holidays

Been out for a bit. Not Thailand but still it was nice and relaxing.

Dream

Phuket - Thailand

Holidays

Can't stop browsing through holidays websites... Nile, China, South America... I dream of going away for a long trip. Although I think right now I'd be more than happy with a week in Greece or something like that. Nice weather, nice food, a lot of rest and away from here!

Finally!

Headache gone!

Pain

Massive headache...

I need

a new white canvas

Elliott Smith - Angel in the Snow

Amazing

Someone who has only "talked" to me by text was able to tell I'm a bit down.

Others talking to me every day haven't even noticed...

Main goal in life

And on a similar note (part2)

Because of what I have just explained I almost, ALMOST, texted my ex. Hate the pressure... LEAVE ME ALONE!

And on a similar note

Hate people who just because they have a boyfriend (even if they have not actually been dating for very long) feel like they can act as match-makers...
HATE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO MATCH MAKE ME! F**** OFF!

Weird

as I was browsing RightMove I see Mr Tall's flat for sale! Guess I won't be seeing him again (or ever!). Probably a good (GREAT!!) thing!

Delilah - Breathe

Still

single...
One day it will be my turn!

I hope...

Desired object

Frederik - Chrome Cavities

Caetano Veloso - Cucurrucucu Paloma

Boy friend

Looks like I'm on the way to having a new friend, outside my usual circle of work friends. Someone I can trust and talk to, which is always good. I've always had good boy friends and to be fair, I miss them! There's stuff it's just easier to talk to a guy than to a girl. Experience also tells me that when they get a girlfriend and stop seeing them and the friendship fades, unfortunately...

Work

still stressing me...

Calogero - Danser Encore

Confused

No... I obviously don't get guys...

Nicola Conte - Kind of Sunshine

Adriana Calcanhotto - Vambora

Coco avant Chanel

Charley avant Falconer

Seen it, Loved it. I think I may just be too emotional...

Feeling

soooo tired. Finding it really hard to fall asleep...

Pong

I am now on Pinterest!

Confession

My hands are full of paint.

Today I feel

Kate Moss

Tired

Decision

I will try new job in same company!! Wish me luck!

Blur - The Universal

Decisions, decisions...

Stay in current job, move to another job...

May even move company?

Einstein

Dedicated to my lovely dear colleague. I refer to her as "double faced b****"

Letting it all out

My job is currently a real s***
I can't find the motivation to go to the gym more often
Feel unfit, fat

Just wanna scream!!!!

Everybody is talking about...

50 shades by E L James

I haven't read any... Anyone?

BEST ENTRANCE EVER

Camille - Au Port

Correction

Annette is Samantha (I did initially think that but than would had no one for Eva).
Eva is a secondary character...

After 30min

The Women
Annette Benning is Charlotte; Debra Messing is Miranda; Eva Mendes is Samantha and Meg Ryan is Carrie.

Relationships

I am not the touchy feely type. When friends are around I will not be holding hands, sitting on his lap or kissing him. Therefore I really hate when people do it when there is a very small number of people around, i.e. small gathering of friends, or even if I'm the only other person present in the room. Can you please respect ME? I don't want to see you cuddling!

Temptation

Tunnocks

Pearl Jam - Better Man

I want it

iPhone 4S

Moi j'adore

Tintin

The White Stripes - Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

Today I feel

Eva Green

french...

Casino Royale - Vesper Theme

David Bowie - Thursdays Child

I had a dream...

Yesterday dreamt I was wearing my everyday black raincoat. At some point I looked down and there was a button missing! (To be fair, there are a couple that could use being sewn a bit more securely.) So this morning I'm walking to work and all of sudden I looked down as I took my hand searching for the "missing" button. It was still there! What a relief!
However, reading from below, looks like the fact I've been ill this weak has taken its toll...

Coat
To see or wear a coat in your dream symbolizes your protectiveness and defensive persona. You may be isolating yourself. Consider also the color, appearance, and type of coat for additional significance. To dream that a coat is old, worn, or shabby suggests that you are feeling down on yourself. To see or wear a fur coat in your dream symbolizes prosperity and luxury. It also indicates your need for attention and your need to be admired.

Raincoat
To dream that you are wearing a raincoat suggests that you are shielding yourself from your emotions. You are not able to face the nastiness. Alternatively, wearing a raincoat in your dream refers to your pessimistic outlook and unpleasantness.

From DreamMoods

2ManyDJs/Soulwax - A fith of Beethoven

Head over heals

I had a dream...

Had a horrible dream last night. Might have been the drugs but I remember I was by myself, walking along eating something quite hard(?) and then feeling quite a few of my teeth broke from that. As if they were crumbling... And I could see the pieces in my had and there were a few! All back teeth so you couldn't really see it. How weird! I could almost feel the pain!

"Teeth dreams can be so vivid and real that we actually think it is happening. Teeth dreams consist of them either missing, pulling, breaking or rotting. These types of dreams can leave us feeling awful all day just thinking about it. So why are teeth dreams so common and why are they so terrible? Studies have shown that teeth dreams are more common with adults or people who feel they might be losing there youth. In order to fully understand the meaning behind your teeth dream you should recall every single detail about it. Every dream is unique to the dreamer that means your location, mood and people that where in them must be accounted for. Below are some of the most common teeth dreams that we experience in our lifetime.
Broken Teeth:
If your teeth are chipped or broken can mean many things depending on what events that are happening right now in your life. Broken or chipped dreams imply that something in your life needs more attention before it falls apart. Who was with you in your dream? Where did you notice your teeth being chipped? These are the types of questions you should be asking. Sometimes we experience these dreams when we are trying to fix something that might be broken, like our relationships. Or you might need to repair something that is long over due. If your dream involves somebody breaking your teeth than that might suggest that somebody is trying to break you down. It is also possible that you might need to keep your mouth shut. If you notice somebody with a chipped tooth suggest that you might feel bad for that person.
Crumbling Teeth:
Crumbling teeth dreams means our fear of getting old. When you watch anything crumbling what image do you have of it? Our dream symbols act as metaphors so when you see your teeth suddenly crumbling it hits at your age and how you perceive yourself. Nobody wants to get old that why dreams of this nature have such a profound effect on us at a later age. These types of dreams are not something you should be alarmed about. You may just want to come to terms with getting older."

From: DreamDictionary.org

Cher Lloyd - Stay

Cheryl Cole ft will.i.am - 3 Words

Sick

On and off, wonder if I'm allergic to something...

Leona Lewis - Run

Shopping

Roberto Vianni - Adrianna

Loneliness

I love having time for myself. Having time to enjoy my own company, think about what I want in life, personal and professionally.

Joy Division - Love will tear us apart

Sometimes

I wish I could just leave my job and become an artist: paint, installations...

Elgar - Cello Concerto 1st Movement - Jacqueline du Pre

franz Ferdinand - Take me Out

The B****

She's seen as a great professional, who is doing a great job, except last Friday she acted like an arrogant, disrespectful bitch. I was quiet and just took it. She probably thought I was weak... I now know certain people don't have such a high opinion of her anymore.
Charley 1 - Bitch 0
Now I just need to get her to act like that in front of other bosses.

Moloko - Forever More

I definitely would (III)

Gianluigi Buffon

Sigh...

Seeking Arrengment

Heard a lot about this recently.

Love it

Aston Martin DBS

dEUS - Sister Dew

Kylie Minogue - Slow

I definitely would (II)

Jack Nicholson

Sick

Drank a bit too much last night. Today was a bit of a struggle...

Some things never change

Finding an ex on facebook and realise that 5 years later I still go for the same type of guy: tall, dark, handsome 35 year-old bastards.

Old friend

Must not fall into temptation... Must stay friends...

Smashing Pumpkins - Ava Adore

Brilliant video!

Girls

What are you? What would you like to be? Which would you like to be with?

Oil

I love to paint, it always relaxes me...

Priorities

I like to be on the top 3 places.
And somehow, even though I have made it clear that it is what I would expect, the message doesn't seem to have sunk in...

Smashing Pumpkins

Almost forgot how much I love their music...

Smashing Pumpkins - The end is the beginning is the end

20 somethings

Why is it that when I was in my teens and early twenties I had hardly any boyfriends and never made out with guys in clubs and now that I'm thirty I seem to only allure 20 somethings?

actually I don't really wait for you to let your guard down...

Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson - Relator

Mr Tall - The end

Sent him a text hinting he had been quite rude and then deleted his number.

Mr Tall

Saw him, today. He was with his girlfriend and another couple. Said hi but he was really uncomfortable and practically ignored me.
Hate him. Hate her. She was so skinny. I was so jealous... I wanted to be the one with him... And skinny.

The post-it always sticks twice

Maybe this is what I should have done:

SATC season 6, Episode 7

Post-it says:
I'm sorry
I can't
Don't hate me

Weak

In the end I just don't want to be alone... yet...

Quote

NOT!

Viktor & Rolf - 2005

A Single Man (Soundtrack) - George's Waltz

I need

a man, not a boy. Especially not a mummy's boy.

I wish

my guy looked a bit more like this...

What?! I have to wait till November?

I had a dream...

My friend got married last year (this part is true) but has decided to have another wedding the following year for a smaller number of people. I get up late, don't have time to do my hair or make up and my tights don't even match the colour of my top (one was burgundy, the other purple, both quite dark, I don't actually own any of them). I should have flowers (although not clear if I was supposed to have got them from somewhere but I definitely didn't have them like I was supposed to) and I am really stressed about the whole thing. After the short ceremony there were 6 super amazing cakes (done by a very special pastry chef) but we could only chose to have 2 of them.

Marriage 
To dream of a marriage signifies commitment, harmony or transitions. You are undergoing an important developmental phase in your life. The dream may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. In particular, it is the union of masculine or feminine aspects of yourself. Consider the qualities and characteristics of the person that you are marrying. These are the qualities that you need to look at incorporating within yourself. 

Wedding 
To see or attend a wedding in your dream symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. A wedding reflects your issues about commitment and independence. Alternatively, your wedding dream refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Such dreams are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. If you dream that the wedding goes wrong or ends in disaster, then it suggests that you need to address some negativity immediately. If you dream that you are attending a wedding, consider how you feel at the wedding. If you are upset or sad, then it means that you are unhappy about the current status of your life. If you are happy, then you are embracing a new change in your life. 

Clothing 
To dream of your clothes is symbolic of your public self and how you are perceived. It is indicative of the act you put on in front of others. Clothes are also an indication of your condition and status in life. Thus, if you wear clothes that do not suit you or that you normally would not wear, then it suggests that you are putting up a front and trying to deceive others. Something in your life is "unsuitable". It may be a symbol of hypocrisy and being someone that you are not. Alternatively, it could also mean that you are revealing a hidden part of yourself to the world. 

Colors 
Colors in dreams represent energy, emotions, and vibes. First consider what that single color in your dream means to you and your own personal associations and relationship with that color. In general, pale pastel colors indicate weakness or subtlety. Dark colors represent passion and intensity. Bright colors mean awareness. 

Stress 
To dream that you are under stress, reflects the actual stress that you are experiencing in your waking life. The stress has carried over into your dream state where even in your sleep, you are unable to relax. The dream may call attention to some setbacks, obstacles, self-doubts, or criticism that you are facing in some waking situation or relationship. You are on the verge of breaking down and need to take some leisure time off to distance yourself from these issues. 

Wedding cake 
To see or cut wedding cake in your dream symbolizes harmony and domestic bliss. You are enjoying life and have a bright, happy future ahead of you. To eat a wedding cake in your dream signifies your sensuality. 

From DreamMoods After reading this I'm really confused!

Pavarotti - Caruso

Here where the sea sparkles,
and a strong wind blows,
on an old terrace overlooking the gulf of Sorrento,
a man holds a girl in his arms
after she's been crying.
He clears his throat and starts singing again.

I love you so much;
so very much, you know.
It's a chain, by now,
that thaws the blood in the veins you know.

He looked at the lights, out at sea,
and thought about the nights in America.
But they were only the lamps of fishing boats
and the white of a propeller wake.
He felt the pain of the music.
He got up from the piano,
but when he saw the moon come out from behind the clouds
even death seemed sweeter to him.
He looked into the girl's eyes -
those eyes as green as the sea,
then suddenly a tear fell
and he thought he was drowning.

I love you so much;
so very much, you know.
It's a chain, by now,
and it thaws the blood in the veins you know.

The power of opera!
where every drama is a sham;
where, with a little bit of make-up and mimicry,
you can become someone else.
But two eyes that look at you,
so close and so real,
make you forget the script,
confounding your thoughts.
And so everything became insignificant,
including the nights in America.
You look back and see your life
like a propeller wake.
Ah yes! Life is ending,
but he wasn't worried about it any more.
Instead he felt already happy
and began to sing the song again.

I love you so much;
so very much, you know.
It's a chain, by now,
that thaws the blood in the veins you know.

Goldfrapp - Clowns

Because I still think of you, bastard!

Charley

Still feels (?) single.

Holidays

Are such an amazing thing!
We should definitely have loads more of!
And get extra money to spend on them!

I NEED

HOLIDAYS!!!

I had a dream...

My friends around a table, outside, on a picknick. Next to it, a farmer's market type stall selling lovely gorgeous fresh fish and meat. I remember choosing loads of fish (and planing to eat raw/cooked with my friends) and 1 duck leg.

Generally speaking, food in dream usually refers to food for thoughts, ideas, new beliefs, etc. They are ideas you take in and digest mentally. To see food in your dream represents physical and emotional nourishment and energies. The different types of food can symbolize a wide range of things. Generally, fruit is symbolic of sensuality, meat represents animalistic desires, and vegetables pertain to healthy pursuits. Frozen foods may imply your cold emotions and frigid ways. Eating certain foods also refer to qualities that you need to incorporate within your own self. To see raw meat in your dream represents obstacles and discouragements that you will come across as you move toward achieving your goals. Alternatively, it may reflect your untamed, animalistic nature and raw emotions. To eat or cook meat in your dream, suggests that you are getting to the heart of the matter. You are recognizing and utilizing your instinctual energies. Alternatively, you are seeing others achieve what you are still striving for. 

 from Dream Moods.

HELP!!

Meet the Parents (2000)

I am not even calling him "my boyfriend" and he wants me to meet his parents?!

Lily Allen - Not Fair

I definitely would

Pierce Brosnan

It is amazing (II)

and again...

It is amazing

how quickly a week goes by...

Deal Breaker (II)

In no particular order I will be listing my deal breakers... (I)
 
2-unhealthy (or lack of healthy) habits
I like to be healthy, going to the gym and eating well is important for me. I am not in a constant diet but I like my fruit and veg and besides, going to the gym can be great to take the edge off! Someone who doesn't eat well and refuses to even go for a walk will not be going to a 2nd date!

The Cranberries - Linger

Green Day - Wake me up when September ends

Nirvana - All Apologies

Today I feel

Ingrid Bergman - Casablanca - 1942

like crying...

Foo Fighters - Walking after you

Bush - Letting the cables sleep

Today I feel

Tilda Swinton - The Chronicles of Narnia (2005) - for Vogue

like an Ice Queen

Deal Breaker (I)

In no particular order I will be listing my deal breakers...

1-farting
I was not standing close to him (THANKFULLY!!), but for me, that was the deal breaker.
We had only been seeing each other for a couple of months...

Wherefore art thou Romeo?

Coco Rocha and Roberto Bolle - "Romeo and Juliet" - Photograph by Annie Leibovitz for Vogue

Depeche Mode - I feel loved

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I have searched and searched. Doesn't look like snoring is considered a deal breaker for most people. It may be a deal breaker for me though if I can't get my sleep!
And yes, I have more deal breakers. Must list them! Which are your deal breakers?

Tori Amos - Spark

I am so messed up - random thoughts

One would think that finding a nice guy would make me happy.
Can someone be too nice?
Why do I still want to go back to Mr Tall?
He likes me more than I like him.
I don't want to be the boss at work and at home.
I need a strong man, not a nice boy...

Easter time

Hot Cross Buns

Out and about

Went out last night but the ambiance was NOT good. Weird people everywhere and no interesting guys...

Today I feel

Kirsten Dunst - Marie Antoinette (2006)

Like eating loads of cakes!

Florence + The Machine - Shake it Out

Pics and the City

Here are some promotional pics taken by Annie Leibovitz for the first Sex & The City film. Absolutely love them. I have my own Mr Big...

Carrie and Mr Big - Sex & The City - Annie Leibovitz

Carrie and Mr Big - Sex & The City - Annie Leibovitz

Lamb - Lullaby

Attachment

Somehow, I still don't feel attached... I feel safe, I feel fine, I feel friendship, yet, I don't feel anything else.

Work

Currently, I'm soo fed up with my job... I think I really need some holidays! Or a new job!

STOP

Chris Cornell - You Know My Name

Today I feel

Kirsten Dunst - Marie Antoinette (2006) - Photo by Annie Leibovitz

Like going back in time...

That is so true...

Today I feel

Hillary Swank - photo by Annie Leibovitz

So strong and sporty I could take on the World!