New Guy

I've been out with a guy I met last week. Two dates in just over a couple of dates. Seems like a nice guy, polite... I'm being cautious now, so will say no more!

Mr Tall - The Photo

Coupling - Reservoir Dogs

Amy Winehouse - Love is a Losing Game

Mr Tall update

Forgot to mention before... I asked him about the present. He hasn't opened it! WEIRD!!!!

Amy Winehouse - Back to Black

Mr Tall update

The bastard, who suggested we should meet up for a drink but had something later and could drink much and never stays late, showed up yesterday... WITH HIS DATE!!

I was a bit too drunk by then but still kept it cool, just really didn't speak to him much. Just reminded him of what he was missing by wearing an incredibly cute dress.

We went to different clubs but at the end of the night I saw him outside and I got a bit upset. He was still with her, holding her in his arms. So I grabbed one of the guys I had been dancing and kissing and got in a taxi right in front of him.

Today I feel

Lindsay Lohan

Self destructive...

Tomorrow's horoscope

You might have visitors, Sagittarius, or even a hot date scheduled for tonight, but by mid-afternoon you might be feeling too tired to go through with it and wondering if you should cancel. It's best to keep your activities low key. Have coffee and snacks at home instead of going out, and get the snacks from the store! Your evening is likely to be full of exciting and stimulating conversations, so you'll be glad you stuck with your plans.

I am supposed to meet up with Mr Tall tomorrow... Should I just cancel it? Independently of this the answer is probably yes anyway as I definitely deserve better...

Today I feel

Lily Cole - Tim Walker Photography

alone...

Keep Calm

and tomorrow is Friday!

Zero 7 - Distractions

January Horoscope

The month will start with Mercury in your sign. The trickster planet will be there until January 8. This planet will bring scattered energy but a philosophical outlook and a search for meaning. Uranus in Aries, another Fire Sign, will make you restless and in need of a lot of variety in your love life. It will be difficult to commit to one person. Mars in Virgo all month will force you to pay attention to details, especially regarding your career or reputation. Venus and Neptune in Aquarius will bring out compassion and a desire to help neighbours and relatives.

Murphy's Law

Why is it always the one that we are not interested in the one who calls back first?

Memorable quote

The Sex and the City - 1998-2004

"After I began to get dressed, I'd realized that I'd done it. I'd just had sex like a man. I left feeling powerful, potent, and incredibly alive. I felt like I owned this city. - Nothing and no one could get in my way."

Today I feel

like curling up in a big jumper and sleep...

Love it

Mango '60s stripe dress

If only I didn't have so much stuff already...

P J Harvey & Thom Yorke - This mess we're in

Mr Tall

he did call

I wouldn't go that far...

You Are So Samantha

You live to please yourself, because you know you're never going to be happy pleasing other people. You date who you want, work how you want, and dress how you want. You are extremely honest - both with yourself and with other people. You enjoy life to the fullest, even if you are a bit hedonistic. If other people have a problem with that, it's their problem!

How Samantha Are You?

Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren't Written By Bored 12 Year Olds

Really? Well, maybe...

You Are Most Like Carrie!

You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date. But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal? It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky. Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a great closet of clothes, no matter what! Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year... Totally different from any guy you've dated.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

Today I feel

Audry Hepburn - Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)

Like I can't wait till tomorrow! Friday it's paarty time!

Mr Tall

I do want to see him again. It all ended so abruptly, with a deadline of when I had to leave as my train departed. So much left unsaid, un-discussed, un-so many other things...
I do hope he calls.

Today I feel

Photograph by Mario Testino

If I changed something about me, would you even notice?

Forgive and then forget

at some point, you may want them out of your life and forget about them!

Jean-Paul Gaultier F/W 2012/3

Sia - Breathe me

Today I feel

Megan Fox

Naked...

Ego boost

To go out and have guys hitting on you. And when one leaves, even if just to get a drink, there are another two immediately dancing with you...

I smell so good

Vivienne Westwood - Let it Rock EDP

Mazzy Star - Into Dust

Still falling
Breathless and on again
Inside today
Inside me today
Around broken in two
Til your eyes share into dust
Like two strangers turning into dust
Til my hand shook with the weight of fear
I could possibly be fading
Or have something more to gain
I could feel myself growing colder
I could feel myself under your fate
Under your fate
It was you, breathless and torn
I could feel my eyes turning into dust
Into strangers, turning into dust
Turning into dust
Turning into dust

Today I feel

Kate Winslet

Cautious, thoughtful...

Mr Tall

We may be meeting up later next week...

Time flies

Can't believe it's 11pm already... Off to bed.

Birdy - Skinny Love

I could cry

Not for him. not for what he did to me, but for my stupidy, my weakness. I'm pathetic and I could hate myself right now.

Viktor & Rolf Autum 2008

Today I feel

Audrey Tautou

Weak... Should have kept my mouth shut!

Adele - Rumour has it

Gerhard Richter

Betty - 1977

Goldfrapp - Let it take you

They sail light, ocean
Sail this night, ocean
Filling my sleep so gently

Just let it take you
Just let it steer

They sail light, ocean
Sail this night, ocean
Shimmer like gold,
They're singing
Filling my sleep so gently

Just let it take you
Just let it steer
Just let it take you
This is easy

Memorable Quote

The Sex and the City - 1998-2004

"But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous"

Life choices

I don't know what I want, I'm not even sure I know all that I don't want!

It's hard seeing most of your friends married and some with kids. Even worst when they keep asking or suggest a fix-up. I made my choices in the past and I don't regret them. I am a firm believer you should not regret your decisions. When one takes a decision, one does it for a reason, a reason that is the most valid and makes most sense AT THAT TIME. There is no point in looking back and then saying "If I had known...". Particularly because, even "if you knew", the story could have still been different from what you'd like it to be. One just can't imagine their alternative life story based on a decision made at one point in time. That only happens on films!

A few years ago, whilst some of my friends focused on their relationships, I focused on my studies and my career. One time I blocked my heart when I knew I was going abroad. Another time I abandoned the only relationship I've ever had for a job, my dream job. I still love my job and I am very glad I made that choice.

However I'm afraid I didn't get to learn about relationships when I should have and I'm unable to maintain them. I've had 2 proper relationships and one I prefer to forget. The other lasted about a year (yes, THAT long!) in which half of it we weren't even in the same country. Then, there are the flings, the "get to knows" or whatever people call them. After 3 months it's not really working and I give up. I don't like to fight/conflict and there are too many "incompatibilities" after such a short time, my view is that we should go separate ways.

I know what I'll do to make up for the absence, I'll just focus even more on work. This means that I am considering moving countries again, which then means that trying to get in a relationship would just be the wrong thing to do.

I don't want to be "played" around but will I accept less if it's that or nothing? Who lists a series of compliments and then says "but I think we should slow down and go back to the beginning"? Sometimes I just wonder "what is wrong with me?".

All in all, I miss the company, the sharing... Someone who will hold me tight and keep me safe. I have friends, and they are AMAZING, but the someone special...

Moto

Guys are all bastards, Girls are all bitches and either I break up, or I need to suffer! Am I a masochist in what concerns relationships?

Nina Simone - Sinnerman

Memorable Quote

The Thomas Crown Affair - 1999

Catherine Banning (Rene Russo):

"Men make Woman messy"

Mr Tall update

Texted him TODAY to wish happy new year and thanked him for meeting me (and driving me to my destination) at the end of December. Thought he might get the hint that he had said nothing, namely regarding his present. Something like: "thanks", "it was really kind of you" OR "I didn't open it" or even "just gave it to charity". He replied to my text and there is no mention of present. He did tend to miss the absolute obvious...

Muse - Feeling Good

Elie Saab Fall-Winter 2012 Haute Couture

If I was rich, had massive closets and loads of parties to go to I would definitely have a few of these!! Love the dark blue ones, especially the 1st and 7th!

It's hard

Getting back to the work routine...

Coldplay - Paradise

Regina Spektor - Samson

Viktor & Rolf Spring 2012

I love Viktor & Rolf. My favourite perfume of all time is Flowerbomb and I fell in love with them when I saw their exhibition at the Barbican a few years ago. Love the big stitches. The clothes are girlie, romantic and fashionable.

Photos taken from here.

Today I feel

Brittany Murphy - Don't say a word - 2001

Sick and alone... I get the flu jab but always get colds! When will they invent the Cold jab?!

Dior - Haute Couture - 2011/2012

I loooove this dress! May like to see in different colours...

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts

2011

2011 was not a bad year! Not at all! In spite it's end was not the best, I must not forget all the other things that happened throughout which were really positive.

With regards to personal life:
I had quite a few friends who got married and I was honoured to be invited to be present and in one, be a bridesmaid.
I live with the best flatmate who is also a great friend!
I went out loads and had loads of fun and danced till I dropped!
Went out with 2 guys a few times and it was good while it lasted.

With regards to professional life:
I got promoted twice, delivered a project in "record" time and got loads of praise for it, have a great team, boss and colleagues who care for me.

So, 2012, the bar is high but I believe you can do better than this!